Phorum Community

for a long time, the interest in our beloved forum "phorum.surrealm.net" had been waning; and i wonder why. could it maybe be the actual size of our community, or maybe the fact that it's all about in-crowd and not? or is it maybe about web 2.0?

today, everybody has a twitter, facebook, myspace, or hyves profile... or all of the above. we need to be able to tell the world that we're eating a pretzel, have just gone to the toilet, were upset because it rained. and maybe more importantly, we need the rest of the world to comment on that. anything we do, we need someone else to reinforce our (non)action.

is it all about justifying our existence now? aren't we "alive" anymore if we don't have someone else giving us the thumbs up, or pats us on the back?

i think in psychology it's called "reinforcement". and specifically "positive reinforcement". but it seems that, what i perceive to have started in the usa, where it's cool and natural and stimulating to give compliments to for instance your children to make them more resistant, and resilient, and help them build self esteem, has gone completely into overdrive mode.

so your kid is a "c" in school, always getting by, with "just enough" results, and not really popular, but not an outcast either. but you don't want your kid to become a drop out, due to his results, or peer pressure/bullying/being ignored by classmates. anything your kid does now, you'll say "wow", yes, that's good", "you're the best", to make your kid feel "more" special... so what happenes the one moment you forget to say that he/she's special? 'lack of incouragement/reinforcement' must obviously mean that what i just did wasn't worthy of being commented on. and what if that reinforcement becomes like a drug? "you don't like me anymore, because you didn't say it was super when i did this or that", now i don't like you anymore.

how many of your fellow internet friends have you seen "asking" for comments on their blogs/posts/photos? having a lot of comments (and friends) must obviously mean you're popular and cool and super...